Nobody Listens to Chekov
by Hiding.in.the.cookie.jar
Summary: When the bridge crew likes the idea of Chekov and the new ensign, Kathy, dating, they are unwilling to believe that they are nothing more than friends. And when Kathy becomes pregnant no one can be convinced that the father is anyone but Chekov. And, well, he might just let them believe it. It would teach them a lesson to stress for a bit. Fake relationship. Side Spock/Kirk.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: "What is this"? you ask? Well, to be quite honest - I don't know. I just thought of a really absurd situation and put Chekov in it. I have the first few chapters done so their won't really be any wait for it to get good. Tell me if I mess anything up. While I'm an avid Star Trek fan, I have not seen the reboots too many times and may forget things. Also, this is my first time writing for the reboots and I am very used to writing in TOS!verse. The canon characterization is slightly different from each other. If it gets OOC please tell me and I will work on it. **

**Some information that will be needed but not exactly stated: This takes place in late 2259 - the beginning of the five year mission. Chekov would be 18 years old. That's pretty much it. **

* * *

Little Ensign Chekov was sat at his station, his mind elsewhere. The bridge was quiet that day and no one (except, obviously, Mr. Spock) was paying full attention to their job. It was the type of day when the hours passed slowly from lack of action that the crew was so familiar with. All topics of conversation had been exhausted soon after their shift started and now everyone waited to either leave or see something exciting.

Chekov wondered about when the next time they would see a new planet would be. He hoped it was soon. Or at least that their upcoming home leave would come quickly. He wished desperately to be off the ship and breathing in something else besides artificial atmosphere and feeling natural Earth elements - like snow. It would be snowing in Russia (of course, it always snowed in Russia) when they arrived as the winter began. It wasn't as though he hated his job - he loved it and wouldn't give it up for anything. But one person could only take so much of a starship at once.

"Chekov."

He snapped out of his reverie and turned to Sulu. "Yes?"

"Did you see the new ensign in sciences?" Sulu asked with a smile.

"Ze small blonde?" Sulu nodded. "Vhat about her?"

"She's cute, don't you think?"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Chekov knew where he was going with it. "I did not really notice," he said with a shrug. This was untrue, Chekov was nearly drooling when he first saw her.

"I think you should maybe ask her out. You two would be right for each other."

Chekov sighed. "Do you remember ze last time you set me up vith someone?"

Sulu had opened his mouth to retort but was cut of by Jim.

"Gentlemen," he said. "Starfleet condemns relationships between crew members, and while I personally won't stop anything, please talk about it on your own time."

Chekov had been relieved when he made that announcement. The last thing he needed was to be paired up with someone by his friends. It always ended with one awkward date or the girl was actually a lot different after her first impression or they had a short relationship (which never truly led to heartbreak but everyone gave Chekov their condolences). While he appreciated that everyone, especially Sulu, was just trying to make him happy, he wanted them to get out of his romantic life. It had started on their first week after Jim was assigned Captain of the ship and only gotten worse since he was dubbed by some of the women officers "one of the cutest things in the galaxy."

When his shift was over, Chekov rushed off the bridge. He didn't even wait for Sulu and by the time he had reached the turbolift, the other man was just getting out of his chair. He silently begged for the Beta shift crew to shuffle in just a bit quicker. They were all bleary-eyed from just waking up and therefore blocked Chekov's way with their slow paces. Unfortunately, Sulu and Uhura caught up with him.

"Have you thought about it?" Sulu asked when they entered the lift, on their way to rec. room 4.

"Zought about vhat?" Chekov asked innocently.

"You know. Are you going to ask out Kathy?"

"I do not zink so," Chekov tried sounding nonchalant about it.

"Oh, Chekov," Uhura spoke up. "I think you two would be so cute together!"

"But I do not zink it vould vork out."

"You'll never know unless you try."

Chekov bit back a sigh. It was going to be a long week.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Chapter 2 whoo-hoo! I'm not quite sure how this is going to be updated. Maybe a chapter a day until I run out of pre-written chapters. I'm not sure. I have everything until chapter 4 written and I may add a chapter in between. I'm not sure yet. I'm still pulling stuff out of dropbox and saving it to google docs. Anyways, enjoy.**

* * *

Forcing Chekov to ask out Kathy was apparently still in everyone's mind by the following Thursday. It usually took them all a few days to realize Chekov wasn't interested in whatever new girl they had picked out for him and give up before finding a new girl. This time however, the Captain had even approached him on the matter (off duty, of course), Uhura had crooned over the possibility of them getting together and Sulu had been more forceful than ever. Every day ended with the same question: "Have you asked her out yet?" It was the worst fours days Chekov had ever put up with.

He was happily eating dinner in the mess hall with Sulu and a few other friends from engineering and science. They were finally having a conversation that didn't consist of Chekov wanting to tear out his hair and Kathy had not even crossed his mind.

"I don't vant to go to ze botany lab," he whined. "Ze last time, one of your plants tried eating me!"

"It didn't try eating you," Sulu said defensively. "You just startled it and it hissed at you."

Chekov crossed his arms. "Still, it does not like me and I do not like it!"

"Then I'll make sure it isn't anywhere near us."

"Fine," Chekov said after a moment of silence. "But only for a few meenutes."

"I don't see why you're so scared of those little things," Lieutenant Jacobs said as they stood.

"I am not scared."

"Sure," Jacobs rolled his eyes. "I have to head back to the science lab, Mr. Spock wants me to work overtime on a new project."

With that, he left and Sulu and Chekov were left with Davis, a tall dark ensign from engineering. They walked down the corridors for a few minutes in silence. It was mostly empty and they passed another officer about once every few minutes. The quiet was enjoyable.

As they came close to a utility room, Sulu and Davis shared a look. Then, they grabbed an oblivious Chekov by his arms and lifted him off his feet with ease. There was a surprised cry from the Russian as they hurried towards the small closet.

"PUT ME DOWN!" Chekov yelled, thrashing around. It was useless, though, as Sulu and Davis were much stronger (and Chekov hadn't quite grown since he was in the Academy). They were able to keep the wiggling ensign under control until they opened the door.

"Sorry," Sulu said and tossed Chekov in the room. "It wasn't my idea!"

"LET ME OUT!" he yelled, pounding on the door.

Chekov continued hitting the door with all his strength but it was no use. The men had abandoned him and weren't going to open the door for anything. He gave up after many minutes and sat down in resignation. He pondered the chances of them letting him out if he faked some sort of asthma or panic attack while looking around the small, dark room for anything that might help him escape. It was filled with pipes and some extra tools ready to use in an emergency but nothing that could open the door.

When he heard shouting from outside and the code being pushed in to unlock the door, he got his hopes up. For a brief moment, light pooled in and Chekov stood to leave but collided with another body. And just as soon as it had opened, the door closed and locked again.

"It's for your own good," a female voice shouted through the door.

"We'll be back in an hour." Chekov recognised Sulu's traitorous voice still outside.

Chekov sighed and turned to his inmate. In the dark of the room, Chekov could just make out the olive skin, round face, dark hair, and big brown eyes from the science labs. She could easily be compared to a cherub, looking just as innocent as Chekov himself.

"You're Kathy?" he asked. But, of course, he knew the answer.

"Yes. And you're Pavel? I've seen you around a few times," she was very soft-spoken. "I'm sorry about this. My friends kept pushing me to ask you out and wouldn't listen to me when I tried explaining that I couldn't."

"Me too. It is not that I do not think you are beautiful and nice, though. You are but I do not know you and everyone is being…"

"Pushy?" Kathy finished for him. "To be honest, Pavel, I would probably consider it but... I have a boyfriend, back home."

"And your friends do not know?"

"Well, I've only been here for a few weeks and I'm not the type of person to flaunt my personal life to people I barely know. And I wouldn't really call them my friends if they lock me into a utility closet with someone I've never met before." Kathy thought for a moment. "Are they your friends? Lieutenant Sulu and Davis?"

"Yes, although zey have not been good ones recently."

"Tell them that. Make them apologize."

Chekov nodded in agreement. "Zey always treat me like a child. Everyone does."

"Maybe they're just a bit too protective. I mean, you're young and I've heard stories of what happened with this ship in the past two years. They probably just want to make sure you have a life ahead of you - even if they are going about it the wrong way."

"I suppose you are right."

"Well," Kathy said in fake vanity, brushing her hair over her shoulder dramatically. "I usually am."

Chekov laughed. "You must be excited, zough. You vill get to see your boyfriend ven ve have home leave."

Kathy smiled and leaned against some pipes. "Yeah. I haven't seen him in years." Kathy's smile faded. "But I don't even know if I'll get to go in a few months. My leave time isn't really the highest and I'm under the impression new crew aren't picked first for leave anyways."

Chekov grinned. "Do not vorry. I can talk with the Keptin. I vill make sure you go."

"You don't have to do that," she shook her head.

"I zink zat after vhat you have been through, it is the least you deserve."

"Thanks, Pavel."

"It's no problem."

Kathy's smile returned and Chekov thought it was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen. There was a pang in his heart as he thought about the impossibility of getting the chance to be with her - by volition or not. But it was not a feeling he would linger on. She was happy in her current relationship and there were plenty of other girls.

"Let's see if we can get anyone's attention outside."

"How?" Chekov asked.

"Kick and scream until we can't anymore."

Kathy straightened up and tried stepping forward but she stopped mid-step. Her face screwed up and she took a step back to the wall.

"Vhat is vrong?" Chekov asked.

"My uniform is caught on something," she brought her hand up and behind her back.

Chekov walked towards her and tilted her head forward to inspect the snag. He grabbed the blue material and started working on setting it free from an unconcealed bolt.

"It is really stuck," he said, face contorted in concentration.

He was just starting to get the fabric off when the door swooshed open. They winced when the light hit their eyes that were adjusted to the dark.

"Git out o' here!"

Scotty was standing in the doorway. Chekov's face flushed a deep red and Kathy's uniform snapped off the bolt, leaving behind a small bump in the clothing on the back of her shoulder. They slowly walked out of the room, embarrassment radiating off of them in waves.

"What in God's name were you doing in there?" Scotty demanded.

Kathy looked down. She had never met Mr. Scott any other time than her tour on the first day but she had the idea that he was a lovable man. That idea changed slightly while he scowled at them, arms crossed, and looking very intimidating. Chekov kept his cool besides a furious blush on his cheeks. He looked forward, trying his best to appear unfazed.

"Ve vere..." Chekov trailed off. He didn't want to get anyone in trouble but he didn't want to face any consequences either.

Scotty raised an eyebrow. "I'll tell the captain about this. Come on," he put a strong hand on each of their shoulders and guided them down the corridors.

* * *

"Keptain, ve vern't doing anything." Chekov finally found his voice in Jim's quarters, standing in front of the Captain and Spock.

"Mr. Chekov, please. I'm going to let you two off with a warning," Jim said. "But if you are reported for inappropriate conduct again, I will be forced to take action. What you do in your own quarters is your own business but when a senior officer walks in on you in a... somewhat public place, it's another thing."

Chekov's face turned an even darker shade of red.

"Sir, Ensign Chekov is telling the truth, we weren't doing anything -"

Jim held up a hand, silencing Kathy. "Your relationship does not need to be a secret. I personally enjoy seeing my crew happy."

"It is a common misconception that Starfleet does not permit romantic relationships between officers. They disapprove but never has a couple in service been forced to terminate their relationship."

"At least by Starfleet officials," Jim added.

He looked over to Spock and Chekov saw a hint of sorrow in his eyes. The same emotion was mirrored in Spock's for an instant. Chekov furrowed his eyebrows at the exposed emotion in the the first officer who was normally so controlled and professional. There were always rumors floating around the ship and Chekov had heard more than enough about his commanding and first officer. He didn't like listening to the rumors and he certainly didn't believe them but at times they could distort how someone looked at another. Now, Chekov's mind was filled with the talk about Spock and Jim's previous secret affair that ended with tragic heartbreak and a much stricter Captain.

"Just make sure this doesn't happen again," Jim said, pulling Chekov out of his thoughts.

"Yes, sir," Chekov and Kathy chorused before they turned to leave.

"Mr. Spock," the captain's voice carried as they walked out the door. He had attempted to keep it low but Chekov could still hear everything. "Stay awhile. We need to talk."


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Chapter 3! Whoop! Since Kathy is my first OC, I would appreciate any help on how to develop a well-rounded character. I'm already reading up on writing tips but first-hand experience tips are also helpful. Thank You.**

* * *

Music occasionally blared from Chekov's quarters. It was easy to hear on the other side of the shared bathroom - meaning, Sulu's room. But Sulu was typically with him when the old pop/electro (whatever it was considered) would be playing at a concerning decibel. And if he wasn't, he wouldn't complain. He remembered when he was Chekov's age and could imagine the boy reading or reprogramming his computer terminal and making Scotty proud. Tonight, however, Sulu was rudely woken by the music. Sleeping was the only thing that was important enough to Sulu to make the kid shut up.

Half-asleep, Sulu shuffled into the shared bathroom, wincing as the lights came on. He raised his fist to pound on the door that lead to Chekov's room but stopped when he heard more sound. It sounded as though someone was trying to perform acrobatics on the bed - or more than one person, actually. The springs in the bed were being put to good use whatever was going on - and Sulu had a fairly good guess at what was making that sound if it was someone else than Chekov. He rubbed his eyes, hoping he wasn't hearing what he thought he was hearing. Did Chekov even understand sex? He had just turned 18 and even though Sulu had lost his virginity before that age, he still couldn't wrap his fatigued mind around the thought of Chekov sleeping with someone. From what he guessed, the boy had a fairly sheltered last years of adolescence in the Academy where everyone was either too distracted by the prodigy or the bright-eyed innocence.

Sulu's suspicions were confirmed when he heard a panting female voice call out Chekov's name. In an instant, Sulu was walking back to his room, face bright red and hoping Chekov at least had condoms.

* * *

Kathy grabbed at Chekov's sleeve as she almost lost her balance. Chekov stopped bouncing for a moment, holding his arms out to help her. Their faces were bright red and their breathing was harsh as they sat down on the bed.

The sheets were rumpled and falling off the bed from where they had aggressively jumping to the music like children. Chekov attempted to straighten them out. Kathy turned the music off and began laughing as much as she could through her panting.

"I'm 22 years old and I was just jumping on a bed," she said.

Chekov waved his hand. "And I am 18. It does not matter."

Kathy perched herself on the edge of Chekov's desk. She dragged her hand through her hair, wincing as her hand got caught on several thick knots.

"Would you like to get something to eat?" Chekov asked.

Kathy nodded. Chekov pulled his uniform shirt back on that he had abandoned earlier that night and headed to the door with Kathy.

In the mess hall, the few officers still awake or just getting off their shift were all staring at the two of them as they ate the sugary food they found appropriate for the night.

They were celebrating the last night before shore leave and decided to have a party of two until early in the morning. Chekov could hear his mother as he shoved a spoonful of ice cream in his mouth, scolding him in Russian for not getting enough sleep and eating so many sweets. He smiled at the thought. It wouldn't be too different than when the Captain did it. In some ways, Jim was much like his mother.

"Get laid tonight, Chekov?"

The ensign turned to the table next to them. He glared at the group of lieutenants with their coffee. He imagined the sight he and Kathy must have been. Hair messy, cheeks slightly flushed, and uniforms wrinkled.

"We're just joking," one of them said, holding up his hands in mock surrender at Chekov's glare. "You're too young to know about sex, anyways."

"Just ignore them," Kathy said, thoroughly annoyed at the continuous rumors and jokes centered around them. She shook her head and shot a wuick glare at the lieutenants. "Let them believe what they want. If they want to be pigs and create stories then let them."

Chekov sighed and turned back to his ice cream.

* * *

The crew scheduled for leave still had to report for duty until they actually reached Earth. Chekov sat at the console, too excited to feel the effects of getting only three full hours of sleep. He stared at the viewscreen for long periods of time until he needed to pay attention to his calculations.

The Captain walked by to check on their progress, smiling as they were close to home.

"Excited you two?" he asked.

Chekov nodded eagerly. Sulu hesitantly looked up at where Jim was leaning against Chekov's side of the console.

"Yes, sir," Sulu said, his voice missing the normal enthusiasm he always spoke with.

Jim furrowed his eyebrows but smiled before walking back to his chair. Chekov turned to Sulu, concern clouding his green eyes.

"Vhat is vrong?" he asked.

Sulu shook his head. "It's just… last night - just, if you ever have any questions about anything at all - _anything_ - you can ask me. Or if you need anything, I can always… help."

Chekov mimicked Jim's expression only seconds before. "Ok," he said, slowly returning his gaze to his station.

"You're young and figuring things out. It's ok to ask for help. Better than trying to do it on your own."

Chekov nodded. "I vill."

Sulu pressed his lips together and turned back to the console.

For another hour, Chekov and Sulu sat in uncomfortable silence (well, uncomfortable for one of them at least) as Sulu replayed last night's events in his head and Chekov got lost in his thoughts of what the winter snow would feel like on his face. There was no doubt he would freeze within a minute of being in Russia but to have the crisp air in his lungs again and feel his cheeks burn from the cold wind would be such a relief he would probably cry. And if he didn't cry from being in his home country then seeing his family for the first time in years - for the first time since his adolescence - would surely bring him to a sobbing mess.

"Mr. Chekov," Jim said, smiling. Chekov turned around, eyes wide and practically sparkling they were so bright. "You are now relieved of duty. Report to the transporter room."

Chekov stood up in one graceful bounce. "Thank you, sir!"

He wrapped Sulu in a quick hug goodbye, making the pilot lose the tense posture he had held through the shift. He leaned into the navigator and patted him on the back with a promise of a call later that night.

"Uhura, begin dismissing assigned personnel," Jim said.

"Ensigns first, sir?"

"Lowest to highest rank."

Chekov rushed off the bridge, anticipation tightening in his stomach and lightening his heart. The corridors were a blur as he ran through them, making it to his room in record time, then having to backtrack to the transporter room with bags in tow.

Scotty caught him as he nearly fell through the doors.

"Careful, laddie," he said, readjusting Chekov into an upright position.

Chekov smiled sheepishly. Scotty smiled back and gave his shoulder a squeeze.

"Bundle up down there," he said, walking past and out the doors.

Chekov tugged at the shoulder straps of his bag. Scotty had said it as though his mother would not immediately scold him for having his coat in his bag still.

He grabbed the bag that he had dropped and bounded to the transporter pad, nodding eagerly to the lieutenant that was manning the console.


End file.
